Please tell my physical therapist I'm not going to make our appointment this morning, because I'm just so super cozy. Snuggley buggley. Here, get in.
Also, I am stuck in a tree sitting with a branch between my ass cheeks. Now I am wearing a thong made of rope. Now I'm sitting on the bar of my bicycle. Wait, at least one of these things has to be a dream.
Oh. It's just the pant leg of my pajamas that has ridden up and is bunched up in my ass. How did that happen? Did you do that? Silly Fuhrer!
In conclusion, the physical therapy lady is old and she makes me do old lady exercises. Stop licking your vagina, Hitler, it's shaking the bed. Wait, that was probably the dog. I meant the dog. Not you.
Is this a dream? Aren't you dead, Hitler? This letter will never make it from death to physical therapy on time. I should just call and cancel. Will you call for me? My arm will get cold if I reach for the phone. The number is 1-800-petmeds. No. That can't be right. 1-800-95Jenny.
Friends forever.
Love,
Becky
14 comments:
You put the "zzz" in "Nazi". (*slide whistle*)
You really captured that befuddled "Is that Spiderman or am I at the Grand Canyon in acid green tights?" moment during procrasti-waking.
Well if anyone can relate to snuggly buggly, it's the Fuhrer.
That is way too funny! Thanks for giving me a great big laugh!!
my thong made of rope is much more comfortable than it sounds
I just put some new jersey knit sheets on my bed and they can be my thong anyday! Woo Boy, they're soft!
What?
I can't decide if "Here, get in", or your tags are my favorite.
I stopped wearing nightgowns as a kid because it would work its way up around my neck and try to strangle me. At least the pant legs are not blocking any airways. Pathways, maybe, but not airways.
the whole pant leg huh....thats interesting
Giggling......silly Furher!!!!
I once awoke from a dream where my arm wouldnt work. I just kept trying to use it, when I woke up the strap of my nightie was wrapped around it so tightly my arm was purple, right down to the fingers tips. I had to cut it with scissors and immediately threw the nightie out, and wore only long tees to bed for a while, until I kept have dreams of being choked and would wake up tee half off around my neck.
Either I was trying to cut-off my right arm so to speak or my head either way I stopped wearing anything to bed......
"Silly Fuhrer" as a tag. That's just dreamy right there.
Thanks for the laugh!!
Clearly, you are sharing a bed with Ernest Borgnine....
Thank you so much for this! I laughed until there was really no laughing left in me and I was crying hysterically while my roommate tried to pretend she wasn't sad she'd been paired with "the crazy one."
In other words, it was freaking hilarious.
You are amazingful.
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