Dear Miss Yvonne,
I know how much you like boobies, because you told me, and also because after careful scrutiny of the photos on your blog, I've learned that you've assembled an impressive collection of boob, and that you hoard your collection close to your chest at all times, probably in case of robbers. That's a good plan. I keep my boob collection under my armpits most of the time for the same reason. So anyway, because Kurt and Vic and I decided that today is Miss Yvonne Appreciation Day, I've decorated my blog with tits, just for you. You like?
Here are a few reasons why we love you, and also why everyone who reads our blogs should read yours:
1) A few months ago, I made you an award from a photo of my dog's stainy anus after you used the word "stainy" in my comments section one time and hijacked my thunder made everyone laugh that day. I only half expected you to post the award on your sidebar, but you did, and you've had a brown, stainy asshole on your sidebar ever since. That's awesome.
2) You won these tiny penis straws with lopsided testicles from a blog contest, and hid them around your house in very creative ways.
Oral B INDEED!!
Oh heavens! My spoon appears to be buried under a teeny tiny cock pile this morning!
Wherever will I find another one??
Ah, maize.
Just like the Indians served it up to the Pilgrims, probably.
3) Nobody at your work will ever catch on when you've been drinking.
Best drunk face ever.
"Well this is just off the cuff here, but how about you knock very very lightly on the guy's door late one night so he'll think 'huh, did someone just knock or am I hearing things?' and then when he opens the door, you're just standing there and not saying anything but you have a huge creepy smile on your face and the words 'Ya Mo Be There' written in sharpie on your forehead and maybe you could be holding something random like half a banana or a lawn chair and then when the guy asks you what you're doing there, just keep smiling and then walk off but keep looking back over your shoulder and maybe point at him a few times as you're walking and then when you get around the corner, peek back around it only now you're wearing a clown mask."
5) You are president and co-founder of the Public Restroom Diarrhea Club. I'm jealous, because I've never been a member of ANY club with the word "Diarrhea" in the title. The closest I've ever come to the prestige of the Diarrhea Club was when I served as treasurer of the Public Diorama of Rhea Pearlman's Restroom Association. No, I'm kidding, I just made that up because it sounded similar. I did read the Diarrhea Anne Frank twice though. <---worst joke I've ever made
In closing, to sum it up, in the immortal words of Emily Dickinson or Thomas Jefferson or some kid I went to elementary school with: I like you. You like me. Homosexuality.
*wink*
Love,
Becky
39 comments:
1. THAT'S a lot of boobs to look at at 6:14 in the morning.
2. I did learn about the stainy butthole from Miss Yvonne and have been a little paranoid about it ever since.
3. BEST drunk face EVER! I also like the drunk face she posted last week, I think, with the margarita in front of her.
4. She does come up with great ideas of how to "secretly" do things.
5. She ALSO knows how to party on a college campus as an "older person". Then text younger people about it!
Overall, she absolutely rocks!
When you pimp someone out, you really go the distance!
Miss Yvonne is awesome.
Add you and Kurt into the mix and you guys could form some kind of blogging super hero team. Spreading laughter and ass whippings to the masses.
Well Miss Yvonne can't NOT be thrilled at this touching tribute. She probably had to drop her crazy funny demeanor and cry for a bit.
Me, however, I'm still laughing till I fart at the "bobbies". They kind of do qualify as they have big tit hats.
What a lovely tribute to the wonderful Miss Yvonne. I loved seeing the stain award and penis straws again. How can you not love somebody that would hide penis straws all over the house for Captain Carl to find? She's so loving like that. The first two boob photos scared me.
Well, now I see what's going on here. I was reading the back comments of your previous post (I read them all!) when the moobs/boobs assortment slapped me in the face.
I can handle it for one day for Miss Yvonne...but ONLY Miss Yvonne...because she's awesome and deserves the best.
The clown mask post is the post that stole my Miss Yvonne virginity. After that it's like I couldn't go a day without.
YA KNOW? YA KNOW?
;;;;;) :D!
No, really. Sometimes I just search through her old posts for anything I may not have already searched and read.
Boobs.
I'm pretty sure I have a full-fledged boobaphobia now. The hairy pierced ones pushed me right over the edge.
I'm going back over to re-read the drunk face post. Pick up around here while I'm gone will 'ya?? :)
Should I just post the same comment I left on Vic's blog post about Miss Yvonne? Okay.
I love Miss Yvonne.
We should have a BlogHer thing. In my house. Tomorrow.
Everyone's invited. Bring lots of food. I'm hungry.
Can you believe that MY SCHOOL allowed your site to come up? Penis straws, boobies and all??? Yeah.... I can read you while my kids do worksheets now!
Impressive.
Boooooooooooooooooobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boobs.
Well, I may have to start reading this blog now. Anyone named after a character on Pee Wee's Playhouse can't be all bad.
i have to say the bobbies pic was what really got me to RL LOL. the other pics were just frightening.
and my miss yvonne virginity was taken with The Claw post. so.effin.awesome
I threw up when I saw the moobs. I just want you to know that. And THANK YOU because this diet I'm on is not working at all and maybe that's because I keep eating donuts, but now I'm all empty and thin. And that's what matters.
"I like you, you like meeeee..."
I AM TOTALLY GOING TO BE SINGING THAT ALL DAY NOW.
Thank the Baby Jesus I called out sick today. I must have had a premonition you would do this to me.
You and only you have permission to steal my stuff anytime, and especially when it's for a good cause like this.
Great post.
Big boobies too.
Great, now I've got wonderfully gigantic sweater bunnies and stainy dog anus firing on the same neurons in my brain. As if I weren't already depraved enough.
That hairy pierced boob made me throw up in my mouth a little!
I got a little teary eyed when I saw my little babies again. Penis straws, they grow up so fast.
Love the boobies, love Miss Yvonne, love it love it love it.
When all my favourite bloggers demand that I read someone, who am I to say no? So I do. Miss Yvonne is now a member of my google reader subscriptions.
p.s. are there any openings to the Public Restroom Diarrhea Club? 'Cause I think my public restroom resume speaks for itself.
You were the Treasurer of the the PDRPDA? California Chapter? That's crazy! I write the newsletter! I don't know if you've kept up, but we have a website now. And a handshake. Dare we sing our fight song? Come on! You remember it. You start. Don't be shy.
Once at a friends holiday party we hid naked men playing cards all over their house. They were completely naked. And nasty. Our friends were finding those things for months to come. Unfortunately her in-laws found one before they did (in a DVD). I bet that was awkward. :)
Yvonne sounds like my kinda woman.
OMG, I'm going to get fired over here! I should never read your stuff from work...
Pearl
For laughing. They're going to fire me for laughing at my screen...
I can't decide which I like better, the kitten bra or the "decorated" moobs!
She IS hysterical, and I'm a terrible reader, I'm so behind on almost everyone! I WILL CATCH UP!!!!! Damn it. The Librarian and Emo probably ran off together by now:(
Yeah, but you totally got her back for stealing your stainy butthole thunder (not that your butthole is stainy, though I do have my suspicions having read your butt doctor blog) by writing an homage to her that was so hilarious and was really more about how funny you are when you're writing about that funny Miss Yvonne.
Not that you did it on purpose.
When you're this naturally funny you can't help stealing the fun-thunder, just like Miss Yvonne couldn't help throwing "stainy" out into the cosmos and letting it ricochet in comedy nirvana forever.
Homosexuality is better when you have Miss Yvonne. She is truly the queen of making lesbian work when you are straight. I love her too!
the boobs are freaking me out! freaking. me. OUT! for ruhls. you are such a good pimple. saying nice things about hilarious people and exploding your purulent discharge all over this post. wait, where was i going with this? right: penis straws are funny and miss y is funnier.
JESUS CHRIST, THE BOOBS. i was not prepared for... all that boob. that's a lot of boob.
i wonder how my (very straight edge, quiet, dude) roommate would react to me stashing penis straws around the house? i'm thinking: AWESOMELY.
I think someone needs to help that one woman "exercising" (i think she is making sure she shaved her legs) to stand back up, cuz I don't think she can on her own.
Thanks for commenting, guys! I'm just gonna do a group round-up here. I'm glad so many of you love Miss Yvonne. I bet she loved hearing it, too.
Miss Y: Cool kids lockers? Um...have you MET my forehead? Maybe I should post about my booger wall again. Anyhow, we're the nose-picking wastoids (bicurious wastoids *wink*) on the grassy knoll by the janitor's room, but we love you. You deserve more props.
Everyone: I'll take the boobs down in a few days. Promise. Even decorative moob, whom I've grown quite attached to.
mayo: I can't decide whether to set the fight song to "Battle Hymn of the Republic" or "Susudio". My OCD mind can't stop working on it though. Damn you.
I like how people call man boobs moobs. But personally, I prefer mits. Some big squishy mitties covered in hair. Yumm.
I'll be back when the moobs are gone thankyouverymuch! Have a great weekend!
This whole time I thought that was a stainy paw...wow, I haven't felt naive since 1982. Everything I like is in this post--boobs, penises (usually), candy, and pussycats nursing on women.
I thought it was a paw, too. My cat's anus is also stainy like that. I should have known.
Moob man has an infection, I think. He needs some triple antibiotic ointment or he will probably die.
Those giant boobs are ten kinds of scary. Where can you shop when you have boobs that big? How can you drive a car?
I'm going to do that knocking lightly thing, but I'm just going to pick a random person.
Also, in case Mayopie doesn't get back to you the fight song is put to the tune of "0oh-ooh Child" by the Five Stairsteps.
Well that was very funny and the boobs were a little distribing (in a funny way). I did like the kitten one though. Not sure if my family would think the penis straws were funny but it might be fun to try it.
Those hairy pierced boobs are going to give me nightmares!
Three boobie cheers to Miss Yvonne!
Penis straws, stainy asses and substantial boobelage, what more could a blog want? I heart this post big-time.
That thing with the clown mask was absolutely terrifying.
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