Foiled. The elusive Jeff Foxworthy escapes my clutches once again, snarls Becky as she twirls her villain moustache

This is Steve Foxbury.

In this photo he's watching two rats hump, he tells me. The humpee rat is dead.

Is it weird that I find that romantic?

Steve has contributed a song to the children's album Do Fun Stuff, the proceeds from which go to benefit Smith Magenis Syndrome.

Clicky click. You know the drill.

Steve is the lead singer for the band The Battle Sigh. I've been googling Steve's band's name for months now, waiting for an album release. I told Ryan from Pacing the Panic Room this, and he asked me to interview Steve for the album release. Then my facial twitch began to flare up and I had to go downstairs and self-medicate with food. Twenty minutes later, with a perfect semicircular line of of hummus traveling from one cheek over the bridge of my nose to the other cheek from French kissing the bottom of the family-sized tub, I wrote him back and agreed.

Steve Foxbury is super dry and insanely witty and I like him even more now. Here's what happened:

SMUK: Tell me about your travels, Steve Foxbury. Do you spend a lot of time on a tour bus? Are you a member of the "meter high club"?

Steve: I can see where you would think that a guy whose musical accomplishments include writing the theme song for The WB's hit series, "Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane" would require a tour bus to meet the rigorous demands of his busy touring schedule, but you'd be wrong. I'm really lucky because I live in Pittsburgh and the rest of the band lives in Orlando, so I get to divide my creative time between these two cultural Meccas. Like Ansell Adams, my work is informed by the beauty that surrounds me.

As for your last question, I will only say that once you've done it in a burning building, everything else is for sissies.

SMUK: Steve Foxbury, your contribution to Ryan Marshall's album "Do Fun Stuff" is a beautiful song called "Nothing." Is this the first ever nihilist children's anthem known to Western civilization? Or something else entirely?

Steve: I wish that I could be the guy to plant our (awesome!!!) flag in this burgeoning form of expression, but I'm certain that pretty much any children's music written in Gary, IN or in either of the Dakotas would have to have roots deeply sown in nihilism. Kid's music was kind of a stretch for me. I usually write songs that people would listen to while crafting the first few drafts of their suicide notes, so while the melody and tempo might say "fun for young learners", it was of critical importance to me to still convey the message that ultimately, we exist (or do we?) in a void.

SMUK: The mysterious guest performance at the very end of "Nothing." Who is that? Some have speculated that it is indeed Sting, his most surprising cameo since "Money for Nothing.” Care to comment?

Steve: The little voice at the end is my son, Whistle. It took us, like 30 hours to get that. I'd like to say that he has some natural talents here, but that would be a lie. In the end, I ran the whole take through auto-tune and passed it through a couple really expensive filters; without which, he would've sounded like Ma Fratelli from the Goonies. I mean - I love the kid, but yeesh.

SMUK: I love the quality of your voice, although I haven't the musical lexicon to describe why. I do know a lot of food words, though. Your voice, to me, is like black licorice, the kind you get from Holland with the salt on it. And the woman who sings backup with you, her voice is like melted Havarti cheese. In this metaphor, you have to pretend that licorice and cheese combine perfectly together, but I didn’t plan ahead that far. Perhaps her as the margarita, you as the salted rim is a better analogy. What foods would you assign to your voice?

Steve: I think my voice sounds like the sixth pie eaten in a pie eating contest. It's that point where all novelty associated with eating pie is long gone, but at least it's still pie, so maybe that counts for something? Mindy's is like ketchup on a meatloaf.

SMUK: How is this interview going so far? I'm nervous and I'm sweating behind my knees. Do you find that erotic in any way?

Steve: I love this interview. Behind-the-knee sweat is the third sexiest type of woman sweat.

SMUK: That’s kind of you to say. Okay, back to business. You are a musician who makes music. According to my research, sound travels in waves.

Steve: Heresy!

SMUK: It’s true. Steve, how did you approach writing a children's song for Ryan's album, seeing as how it's a departure from your usual work with your band, The Battle Sigh?

Steve: Whether I'm writing for small children or for the band, my approach is the same: Gobble pharmaceuticals till the world becomes a soft, fuzzy hug of a place and then try to come up with a hook that will sell enough copies to rescue me from a day job that I would gladly swap out for getting kicked in the balls every day by a gorilla in Gene Simmons boots if the pay and benefits were the same.

SMUK: Steve Foxbury, was that last question the most professional-sounding thing anyone's ever asked you or what? I just shit my pants that was so professional. Ryan fed that question to me. Could you tell?

Steve: You're a regular Nancy Grace! How are my answers at this point? I feel so greedy and self-centered. I'm not learning anything about you in this process, except where you sweat when you get nervous.

SMUK: You’re doing a great job, that's probably why all the knee sweat. Steve Foxbury, are you or are you not, in any way, related to Jeff Foxworthy?

Steve: It's tough to tell. We're not a very close family.

SMUK: Complete the line "You know you're a redneck when..." in a way that might bring all conversation to an awkward, dead halt at a dinner party.

Steve: My mother died of lung cancer in January.

SMUK: Nice one. Finally, Steve, when do you think we can expect to be able to buy your band's CD? And when we can, will you sign mine? And will you be selling it in vinyl? Cause I scratch on the weekends.

Steve: If all goes well or even a little wrong, we should have the album ready sometime in November, so probably February? We're pressing vinyl as well because I saw this thing on CBS Sunday Morning that said people will buy your album if you put it out on vinyl and I really, really need people to buy this album. I mean it's cool that people are buying Do Fun Stuff, but it's not exactly lining my pockets, you know? No, seriously. I love kids. What was your question?

Fin.

I'm ending this with a video of Steve and his band The Battle Sigh playing their song "Raised by Wolves" at a small house party. I've watched this video elevens of times. Click and listen, and you'll understand why the sudden knee sweat problem.

Raised By Wolves from The Panic Room Videos on Vimeo.

For more information on Steve Foxbury's band, The Battle Sigh, check out his blog at thebattlesigh.blogspot.com or listen, download, and all that stuff HERE.

Have you checked out DO FUN STUFF yet? It's already topping itunes, friendishes. Good things are happening.