Awesomely Bad High School Diary, Vol 1

Dolphinhead Seizuredog's up to her old tricks again, that attention whore. All seizey and mouth-foamy and me!me!me! and seriously though, I can't focus on anything because she's breaking my heart with this slow dying business. 

So, for the next few days, or maybe just for today, who knows, because I bore easily and fear commitment, I'll be transcribing and posting embarrassing excerpts and awesomely bad poetry from my high school diaries, which I just found in my "memory trunk" (shut up, I'm sentimental). If I decide I just don't care anymore, or if I get drunk or eat too many Kit-Kats again and start making bad decisions, I may post accompanying awkward high school photos. 

My commentary in red. 

Here we go:

Ode to Brad. (and/or Andy) Parentheses added months later, when I decided I felt similarly about Andy and was too lazy to write a new poem. This is the "Candle in the Wind" of bad high school poetry.

When we were together

I couldn't remember life w/o you,

Now it's like it was before 

And I still forget sometimes

that if I died you wouldn't cry.

How could you just stop loving me,

I never did.

I loved you then and I love you now.

We're too young for commitment (Love poem fail)

You were my first (tongue kiss, FYI), and it would be sad

if you were my only,

because there were many before me,

and I felt like your first,

but I was just another fish in your tank.(awesome metaphor)

We are too young now,

but maybe later we won't be.(Maybe. Who knows.)

I'd rather stay young w/o you.(I had an imaginary haggling game going with God regarding not growing older. I usually lost.)

In your eyes, I see your past,

and the fish to come, (I saw fish in his eyes.)

but my boat has sailed on. (YES! Nailed it! I didn't think that fish metaphor could get any better.)

TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS!!!! I DON'T LIKE BRAD!!!! THIS IS HOW I FELT TWO MONTHS AGO!!! OK???? BRAD IS A GEEK!!!

TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS: I AM NOT THE SAPPY EMOTIONAL BASKETCASE THIS POEM SAYS I AM. I WAS JUST BORED AND FEELING INSPIRED!!!

We went to a play last night and Melissa and Emily were pushing me towards Andy to say goodbye and he gave me a picture he drew of a flaming skull chewing an eyeball. He's so sweet. I really like him now. I wouldn't get back together with Brad now if someone paid me $200,000. He had white slime in the corners of his mouth. It was gross. I can't believe I ever went out with him, he's such a geek. It makes me angry what a geek he is. 

We went into the village with Damien and Eric and Beth yesterday. Damien was nice at the beginning but then he started slapping me on the face and he almost broke my fingers playing mercy, and he also looked up my shorts. I think he's really cute. I think he likes Beth though. Beth is SUCH A FAKE, but she has good intentions.

Oh, I forgot. On the 10th of June I had my first kiss with Andy. He doesn't know what he's doing and he was nervous because it was his first. I liked it because I got all shivery because I love him. We kissed on "Stairway to Heaven". Then "Forever Young" by Alphaville started playing and it was kind of ironic because I don't want to grow up. If I had one wish, I'd stop time and keep this summer forever. I just kind of realized that everything dies and the world still goes on. I would break up with Andy if God would let me stay this age forever.

Ode to Andy.

You seem so innocent

It was hard for you to try to lose

this image.

But you did

and everything's different now

better.

Now you're leaving for camp

Please don't scam on me

Because I don't think my heart 

could take it

again.